Birthday Season

  It's been a couple of years since my last post... I dream of someday being consistent in something but for now, I take each moment as it comes!  Since my last post we have added another baby girl to our clan and shockingly she was also born during 'birthday season'.  Miss Violet Rae was born last year right after Christmas on Dec. 28, 2013.  She now begins our season of celebrations!  From December 28th -February 19th we will celebrate all 6 of the kiddos birthdays and my own.  I often fight getting overwhelmed but this year it has been fun really reliving each birth.  I can remember even the smallest of details about all of the them and they make me smile.  The girls have all had their birthdays and the boys will soon follow... Here is a snapshot of how big they are all getting:)

This is a picture of Violet's first moments snug as a bug.

This is one year later as she is learning how to play the piano from her eldest brother!

We have had home births with all of our children so this is 

Evelyn right after she was born...

Miss Evelyn was born on New Year's Eve 2011

This was from last year with Miriam

And this is our princess at age 3!

After 3 boys, I never thought that I would have a girl and since we didn't get an ultrasound, I was completely surprised when Miriam was born, our first daughter!

Miss Miriam -age 5

I am getting so excited thinking about all of their births that I just might have to write a separate post on each... I have never documented any of them.  Stay tune.

"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure, then peace loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere." James 3:17   

Prayer:  Lord, may you fill me to over flowing with your wisdom!

Mom, did you know that God speaks to me?

Now, I have to confess that I often find myself only half listening to what my children say... not because I don't love them but that my mind is usually in more than one place at a time BUT when my five year old shared this with me while he was doing chores, he definitely got my attention.  He proceeded to share with me some of the truths that God has been sharing with him... helping him to recognize the difference between lies and truth.

During Holy week, I am reminded and challenged to listen to that soft inner voice, leading me into all truth, The Truth, my Saviour... the one who was perfect and yet took on the sins of this world... Through His death and resurrection, He has given me life eternal.

Thank you Lord, for speaking to me and to my children.  May our eyes stay focused on you and may we rest in you that you are the way, the truth and the life.

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An update: the three day juice cleanse went great, back to eating food and trying to daily choose living foods!

My love/hate relationship with food...

So, I guess I would be considered a foody...  I LOVE food in most forms.  I love to create different dishes in my mind and then let my fingers do the work.  I especially love 'beautiful' dishes... lots of color with an artsy flair.  I love the different flavors, the smells and the textures.  I really simply love food.

My only 'hate' that I sometimes have with food is how much I love food!  I can find my emotions dependent on if I have eaten, what I have eaten, what I want and can't have to eat etc.  Ever since I could remember, food has held too much power in my life.  I would often find myself looking to food to comfort me or give me energy.  I have been consumed with how I looked and how much weight I have to lose.  I can look to the scale to determine how my day will look.  So, in a sense, food can become my god.

Thankfully, I serve a God who graciously gives us beautiful food and beautiful bodies in all shapes and sizes. He loves beauty.  He is an Artist and Creator like no other.  When I run into problems is when I take my focus off of my True Provider and put it on the food which He has provided:)

Ever since Thanksgiving we have been feasting.  It has not been bad but recently has gotten out of balance.  I need to press the restart button and the healthiest way that I know how to do that is by simply drinking juice.  I am on day 2 and still cannot believe how much I think about food, of course I am surrounded by it ALL DAY LONG as I prepare food for my children and watch them enjoy it... but for now I am simply taking a break from eating.

Another motivation in doing this fast/cleanse is that I tend to have a pretty consistent pregnancy schedule and thus could get pregnant in the next few months.  Having said that, I also cleansed before my last pregnancy (not purposefully) and I believe it REALLY helped with my morning sickness.

And my last motivation to refocus through this time is that I don't want to just be alive, I want to live.  I want to be able to do everything that God has designed me to do and I want to do it well to my greatest potential.  For me, that includes keeping a healthy mind, body and spirit.

In my mind, I have already succeeded with this cleanse.  I have gone almost 48 hours.  I desire to do longer but I refuse to let the amount of time determine the success.  And to all those out there that have done a cleanse before, you know that the most important time is actually breaking the cleanse and going back to eating well.  Here's to another part of my journey!

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.  1 Cor.6:19-20

Sometimes Life is Like Shoveling a Driveway

The puking has pretty much subsided after 7 full days.  There are still other bodily fluids but no puking yet today!  One thing I haven't had time for is exercising... then I realized that without knowing it I started running again... running to whomever was yelling for me, knowing that I had seconds before they puked!  Who knew?!

So, this morning, after sending one to school and sitting the others in front of another video, hoping for them to sit still and heal, I decided to conquer the driveway.  There were only a few inches of snow but I knew it was wet snow which equals VERY HEAVY!  I stepped outside and immediately began feeling overwhelmed.  However, I proceeded.  I needed the exercise and an outlet, I was starting to feel some anger and frustration from the last week.

I decided to start at my least favorite part and work back, focusing on good movement so not to injure any muscles and yet be most productive.  Little by little I began seeing the driveway.  When I got down to the part by the street, I got overwhelmed again... it was extra heavy from the plow and then I had the thought, this is just like life.  As times get tough we do not have the option to just give up but rather to persevere.  To do one day at a time and sometimes simply take moment by moment just like I was doing shovel load by shovel load.  And before I knew it, I had a clean driveway, I was sweating, I felt the anger and frustration subside and I knew my husband would be able to come home after a very long days work and not have to worry about shoveling.


May you focus today on perseverance... day by day, moment by moment.

Sickness raises the bar for a Mama

So, you know this flu bug that has been going around that everyone hopes and prays somehow misses them?  Well, it has officially come into our home and has not left yet.  I have never in my life seen so much puking... hours upon hours of puking and dry heaving... a little water and then more puking.  My youngest was hit right at bedtime and puked off and on until 5:30 in the morning.  Another one went pretty consistently for a whole day.  It just hurts so much to see your children in pain and not be able to do much about it.

We have been able to laugh at it, occasionally,  as puke is going down the front and back of me and I am just standing there not knowing what to do next.  Or when I go through so many clothes that I start evaluating exactly how much puke is on me and whether that is enough to change clothes or whether I just press on until the next time.

Although I have some good stories, and the sickness has not passed yet, I would be lying to say that it's been easy... I am tired, actually exhausted.  The laundry has picked up.  The demands which I felt were already pressing have only increased.  The love that I give out daily has had to be given more frequently and the need for physical touch has sky rocketed but most importantly, I just hate feeling helpless.  Always questioning what I could do differently to help my children or how I could swing changing places with them so that they don't have to go through this pain... and yet at the end of the day, coming up short.

I am thankful that I can/have to draw on God's strength during this time.  I have come to the end of myself and had to hand the reigns over.  I wish I could do that easier in my day to day life and not wait for these tough circumstances.  I guess I continue to learn and continue to journey.

May God's truth ring in our hearts and in our minds that with Christ ALL things are possible!

I Know You by Name

"For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when i was made in the secret place.

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one one of them came to be."

                                                                                                   -Psalm 139

We are coming to a close to our 'birthday season'.  From New Year's Eve until Feb. 19, we celebrate SIX birthdays.  Yes, that is correct!  It can be a lot to make every one special but WELL worth it. 

Tomorrow we celebrate my oldest son's 9th birthday.  Nine years ago today, I was in a much different place filled with great excitement and yet some fear.  My husband and I often take the road less traveled... not to be different but simply to be... us.  We were getting ready to have our first homebirth.  My first birth was by far the toughest birth.  Joshua was posterior and very large.  I was in pretty serious labor for over a day and my contractions in active labor never paused because my body was trying to flip him.  I pushed for three hours and out came this plump, perfect boy weighing in at 9 pounds 15 ounces.  The excitement was just beginning as my body tried to recover from all that I went through but we made it!  Not only did we make it but we proceeded to have 4 more homebirths which were much less eventful!

Every child is such a gift... So uniquely made... So filled with love, joy, trust and excitement.  I am truly blessed.

As we continue through Lent and venture into our 'normal' lives, may we know, feel and believe the truth that God loves us more than we could ever dream or imagine and He is honored to call us His children...  

He knows each one of us by name and He promises never to leave us or forsake us...

Pressing the Pause Button

Have you ever wished you could just press the pause button on life?  I think of this often.  As of yet, I have not figured out a way to do it BUT I have thought of some of the things I would do if I COULD...

I would sleep for at least an entire day and not leave my bed for at least two!

I would deep clean my entire house without any interruptions... no worries about meal prep or cleanup, changing diapers, nursing, wiping little behinds, getting everyone ready, schooling, meal planning etc.  I would simply clean until I could clean no longer because EVERYTHING would be put where it belongs, dust would actually be gone, spider webs would come down, windowsills wiped, laundry would be cleaned and put away, bathtubs would be scoured and the toilet, momentarily, would not have any urine on OR around it.

Lastly, I would soak in the tub, a hot tub with candles lit and soft music playing and then head off back to bed with a journal, a Bible and a good movie and not get out for another day!

After that, I would gladly press the play button again and greet my children, my husband, my friends and my community with a refreshed Spirit and a serving heart!

Since I do not expect to figure out how to make this happen... I choose to rest in the moment and embrace all the peace which God offers me in the midst of what most would consider chaos... but to me is life.

May the peace of God which transcends all understanding, guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.